Accidental Extrovert

I think my friends tend to expect a lot of me. So I'm bound to disappoint. Because I have a secret: I am a desperately shy introvert.

I hide it so well. Party this weekend? Probably at Cheryl's house. Camping tip to plan? Cheryl will do it. Board member needed in the Mom's Club? Count on Cheryl. But every ounce of my energy goes into each of those activities, even if I don't do much. How do I know I am an introvert? Well, I have two Facebook friends who post articles about their introversion. I get annoyed when I read them. "She doesn't like to say 'yes' to get-togehers? Doesn't want to make plans? Needs a break after seeing us? How insulting! How wimpy! How boring! How ... me." Hmm! So I've been curious about my personality lately and here are the things I have found:

Please don't make plans with me more than a few days (preferably hours) in advance!
Okay, I know that is a lot to ask. And under many circumstances, impossible. But when someone tries to get me to commit to something, I kinda freak out a little. I feel like I have to sit in limbo until The Event and then and only then does my motor turn on again. Not exactly true, but that is how it feels. Calendar and clock watching ensues, my heart jumps every time I remember that The Event is coming up. How I cope: I try to accept the invitation no matter how much I dread it -- though an excuse to say "no" is never wasted. But if I am pressured after a while, it can turn on my friend. The constant pressure just pushes me away more and leads to alienation of that friend. I had to deal with that this week -- a slightly long-distance friend who wants to have more sleepovers between our two boys. Now I hate sleepovers. HATE. I dislike the idea of not being able to push someone else's kid out the door at the end of the day. I suffer through some of them because it's only fair. And sometimes you have to reciprocate. And I don't want to seem to reject someone else's child or become a one-sided sleepover mooch. But it is really difficult for me. I'd so much rather let the kids play during the day, then be able to return to my comfortable cocoon of a home, to my evening privacy, to my me-time.

I love my alone time with my son, to the point of becoming a hermit and alienating my own husband. My son is the one person in the world who I can spent all my time with - though we need some breaks from each other, too. When I was in my twenties I lived alone, with no friends or family nearby. I was lonely sometimes, but most of the time I really liked it. I remember thinking that it was time to think about starting a family (which I really wanted) and the image that came to mind was of me with a child in a tidy little house in some secluded Maine town. No husband in the picture, no big parties or friends around all the time. But I also need people in my life. I love my cousins and aunts and uncles and my Mother and, yes, even my brother. How I cope: I needed to find a best-of-both-worlds scenario. And most importantly, when I did have a child (and yes, I did fall in love and get married), I didn't want to turn him into an introvert. I wanted him to have a good, happy social life. So I joined clubs at got us together with other moms and kids. I made play dates, threw parties, made sure that he had kid time and I had adult time. But these gatherings were in short bursts with plenty of "rest" time in-between.

How do I explain this to my friends without sounding like an ass? Without sounding like authors of the articles posted by the introverts who angered and insulted and frustrated me on Facebook? I fight this introversion -- this shyness -- with every ounce of will I can muster. I say "yes" even though I want so badly to say "no". I probably drink to much in order to squelch my urge to flee. And once I am there -- once I am IN the situation -- I feel okay. It's the anticipation of the hijacking of my personal time that I fear the most, I think. I have some friends who are "easy" and never demand too much of my time and commitment. Our time together is laid back and relaxed and impulsive and there is little planning involved. But I have other friends who need to plan, need to spend more time (and sometimes, to me, once a week or twice a month is too much -- hey, I try!!), need to challenge me more. And it destroys me. And I resent them. And they feel it. And so it destroys our friendships.

Fellow introverts, do you feel me? How do you cope? What do you do? Please comment below and give us all some coping techniques. Or feel free to simply vent! Because if you're anything like me, you don't get to vent enough and end up arguing out loud in a room  by yourself a lot ;)

Walk the walk

“The world needs all kinds of minds.”

— Temple Grandin

I love that quote, don't you? Especially if you have a silly, quirky, march-to-the-beat-of-your-own-drum son like mine. Today I had to go pick up my 12-year-old after school (he had missed his bus) and when I texted to let him know I was outside, I watched as he came out the doors of his middle-school.

He was already smiling, looking around for my car. When he saw me, I got a bigger smile, a wave and then he sort of bounce-walked to my car, leaning forward and almost flapping his arms like wings a bit. Goofball :)

But then of course the mother/middle-schooler in me comes into play: Oh, he's being eccentric and silly! If the "cool" kids saw him, would they pick on him? Label him "weird"? Talk about him behind his back? Oh, god!

He got to the car, opened the back door and threw his backpack onto the backseat, then joined me up front. "Hi, Mom!"

"Hi, Hon! What was with the goofy walk to the car today?" I couldn't resist.

"Oh, I dunno, I just felt like it." He smiled and kinda laughed.

I decided to pursue it a bit further. "So how come you don't walk more like the boy coming out now?" The boy was probably a year or two older. Backpack over one shoulder. baggy jeans, scruffy hair, hoodie, sort of a frown — kind of a typical teenage boy, if you ask me. "It's like he assumes people are watching, and he wants to look cool." We both watched as the boy approached his mother's awaiting car.

And right before he got to her car he spat a big old gross, drooly loogie (and I am NOT going to "Google" the spelling of that word for fear of the images that might pop up on my screen) onto the sidewalk.

My son started cracking up! "Eww! Really, Mom? THAT's what you want me to be more like?? Oh, sure! I can do that!" :D

"Oh, that was classy! No, you're right, kiddo — do what makes you happy!"

Lesson learned!

Game Night!

Around the time my son turned 10 (end of 2011) I was trying to think of hobbies to keep him away from drugs and gangs when he gets older (scary thoughts of teen years yet to come o_O) So I thought back to when I was younger and of the boys I thought of as the “smart” ones — what did they do?

Munchkin in the park

Dungeons & Dragons, of course! Though they never invited me to play: NO GIRLS ALLOWED! ;) So I asked at a local game store if they could recommend something that was sort of D&D light — for a younger kid. They showed me to a game called Munchkin. I'd seen it around ("Kill the Monster — Steal the Treasure — Stab your Buddy," the boxes read). I purchased it and we tried playing it at home, but I was never sure I was really understanding the rules (I'm such a visual learner). I searched and searched online for videos of people just playing the game, to no avail. We put it away, a tad frustrated. A few months later we tried it again, but having never played a game anything like this before, I was still unsure that I was reading the rules correctly (What is the backpack for? Which players can help me? etc). I did another web search and — lo and behold! — this time I quickly found the Munchkin episode of TableTop.

Whaaaaa???? That cutie-pie Wil Wheaton is a geek like us? And has a board game show? And with Steve Jackson (the creator of Munchkin) as a bonus guest in that episode?? Too perfect! So we watched, we learned, we laughed, we LOVED!! It answered our questions and we were able to initiate other players by having them watch the episode.

Butterbeer

So of course, that led to subscribing to the TableTop page and Wil Wheaton's Facebook page (and, from there, discovery of Geek & Sundry and The Guild and Cards Against Humanity and other things geekish that made us so happy!) and so we’ve called it the Year of Wil Wheaton and TableTop. That next Christmas there were TWENTY-SIX games and extensions under the tree (we’re a family of three, so that’s a big number). We have more game nights with friends — to whom we’ve introduced new favorites like Catan and Wits & Wagers — and my son is trying to get a Munchkin Club going on a regular basis (the kids get snacks and butterbeer if they show up, and they LOVE the game!).

My son and I even went to Denver Comic Con for the first time this year and my son got to ask Wil Wheaton a question during his panel — he was giddy with delight! And Wil was so nice :) And of course the whole family stayed up for some Midnight Munchkin Madness in the hotel room!! (See The Guild, season 5)

Luke Skywalker
prepares his next shot

Munchkin club

My family has said that board games are my new addiction. The downside being the ridiculously hefty price tags on some of them (lots of these new, cool games are over $50) — so we wait for sales and special occasions. The local game store knows me by name now and are ready to show me any new games. No matter where I go, I take a travel game with me — like Hive or Mr. Jack or Zombie/Martian Dice (we bought some D24 dice to keep in those boxes so we can keep track of brains and other such scores) or Fluxx. My hubby and I had a great date night this past weekend — and of course we were sure to take pictures and post them on Facebook so that people would see all the fun new games we have, in the hope that we could encourage more friends to join us. Because lord knows I always want more people to play with me!! :)

So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, Wil Wheaton and Tabletop for creating this show and opening our eyes to all the cool new gaming adventures out there! Not that we won’t still pull out Trivial Pursuit, Mille Bornes and Risk now and then :D Any time around the table with friends and family is time well spent. Game on!
x

Favorite part of an afternoon with Overprotective Mom

Me: "So, can your baby walk yet?"

She looks at me like I'm a little nuts and says: "Oh, of course she can walk!"

Me (not out loud): :\ You act like I'm supposed to know that. You have been here for THREE HOURS and she hasn't been allowed off your lap no matter how much she struggles and points at the other toddlers playing nearby...

She later explains: "I don't want her to get messy."

This was at a backyard barbecue at a friend's very-safe-for-little-ones house. It's called a hose-down in the sink and a change of clothes, folks. And believe it or not, this was not her first kid.

-___-
#nationofwimps

Merry F-ing Christmas!

Can anyone just wish anyone else a Merry Christmas anymore without spitting those words at me as if they are some sort of threat?

Yes, 'is the season when everyone is smiling and happy and wishing everyone merriment ... except for my Christian friends who say "merry Christmas" with a visiousness that immediately implies that they threw down a challenge and are daring me to not say it back. Sheesh, Merry Christmas already! and happy holidays and whatever else makes anyone happy.

My bible-thumpy friends have been blogging about what assholes (those who say "happy holidays" and call Christmas trees "Holiday trees") we are. Makes me never want to use the word "Christmas" again. December 25th is ONE DAY -- and not even the correct date.

I celebrate everything. Christmas, Hannukah, Festivus, New Year's and Ninja Day. There is a lot going on this time of year. So, at home I may talk about Christmas and the memories it brings to me of Mom and Grandparents and excitement waiting for Santa, but when I'm out and about I know there are lots of people who don't celebrate that particular holiday. Or, like me, they celebrate it without the religious aspects. Or it's full-on Jesus mania for others. Great! Enjoy it! But don't get mad at me for saying "Happy Holidays" just to be polite.  I know you won't be offended if I wish you the merriment of a holiday you don't celebrate. But I'm covering my bases. 

So why so angry? Nothing is happening to your holidays. If anything, they are bigger than ever. Each year getting more overstuffed and bloated. Starting before Halloween now. Yet you want more, more? Who is suppressing whom? Certainly not me. I'm offering a friendly greeting, and being scolded for it.

So next time you're out and about and want to say "Merry Christmas" to me, just say it. And leave off the "and I don't care if that offends you!" part because that snotty attitude takes the sincerity out of your greeting. You might be surprised at how much more friendly people will be when they reply. Might even end in a hug.

Happy holidays. Peace and love to ALL!! :) xoxo

Ratatouille's Ratatouille

This was so much easier to make than I expected! It was a lot of fun to put together and was delicious! This is a more simplified version of the original recipe (for people who didn’t study with the French masters). Look up “Confit Byaldi, Thomas Keller” online if you want the original recipe.

In the movie they used an oval baking dish; I used a 9” glass pie dish (before the tomato sauce is in the dish, you might want to trace your parchment paper which will top the vegetables; you probably want it a little larger than the dish so it can tuck in around the edges a bit).

On the bottom of the dish, spread 1 cup of tomato purée or tomato paste (I’ve also used canned prepared diced tomatoes). Then, on top of that, add 1/2 onion, finely chopped and 2 garlic cloves, very thinly sliced. Stir it all together with 1 tbsp olive oil and then season generously with salt and pepper (and thyme/parsley; optional). Then spread it out evenly again. Put a little up the sides of the dish, too, as it will keep the vegetables from sticking to the dish.

Using a mandolin or, even faster, a food processor with a slicing blade, cut the following into 1/16-inch-thick rounds after trimming off the ends: 1 small eggplant (if you can get “Italian” or “Japanese” eggplant that would be a better size. I couldn’t find that, so I used a regular eggplant cut into quarters the long way, and only ended up using about 1 quarter. You can see in the picture that they end up like triangles, but put the rounded skin-side on top and it’s hardly noticeable); 1 smallish zucchini; 1 smallish yellow squash (the closer to a uniform cucumber shape, the better, but maybe get a couple of small squash if they're cheap, so that you have more of the larger rounds to use); 4 firm Roma tomatoes. So now you have four separate colorful piles of veggies. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

On top of the tomato sauce, arrange a circular strip of slices of the vegetables going from the outer edge to the inside of the baking dish, overlapping so just a smidgen of each flat surface is visible, alternating vegetables.

My order was: zucchini (green), tomato (red), eggplant (green), squash (yellow). If you can get some help, this will go quickly. Think ‘assembly line’. I’d put 4-5 piles together in my hand at once, then gather the piles and lay them in the dish.

Drizzle 1 tbsp olive oil over the vegetables and season them generously with salt and pepper. Remove the leaves from a few thyme springs with your fingertips, running them down the stem. Sprinkle the fresh thyme over the dish.


Cover dish with a piece of parchment paper cut to fit/tuck inside.

Bake for approximately 45 to 55 minutes, until vegetables are clearly cooked, but with some structure left so they are not totally limp. And you should see that the tomato sauce is bubbling up around them.

We served this on top of a helping of rice — make sure the rice gets some of that tomato sauce!

Rock 'n' Roll Etiquette

It has been a beautiful week in Colorado. So we were lucky to get some perfect weather for the outside concert we went to at Hudson Gardens last night. Performing for us was a U2 tribute band, and they were really good. Okay, so they aren't the real U2 (who performed in Denver a week earlier) — but we looked at the ticket prices, and it was insane! Who can afford concerts anymore? When I was younger you could go see a top artist for $20 or so, and the sooner you called the ticket sellers, the closer you got to the stage. Ah, life was simple. So I guess it's good that now that I am an old fart, my favorite artists are playing state fairs and small venues like this :)

I would like to take a moment, though, to remind people how to behave at concerts. Okay, that sounds ridiculous — and is — but I have a few pet peeves about concertgoers that I want to vent: First of all, please leave the iPods, iPhones and other gadgets at home (or in your pocket, for emergencies only). How rude is it for the poor performers to look out and see a bunch of bowed heads staring at their video screens? Ugh. Second, when a great song comes up and some people stand up to dance: get your fat-ass out of your seat and stand up with them! Dance!! Don't make people feel bad for blocking your view at a rock concert. It's not the symphony, folks! Like Roger Daltrey says: chairs are there to stand on! :) And third: if you're NOT going to dance, you don't get to sit there picking on the people who are dancing badly, but dancing nonetheless. You're the one who looks like the boring, too-cool-for-school dumbass, not them. It's true! This last one is because there was a middle-aged guy just letting lose, shaking with the music, doing punching moves, etc. Very cute and funny. We enjoyed him. But the teenage girls in front of us just rolled their eyes and laughed at him like he was nuts. So mean. Mean girls suck. Oh, and to the woman wearing the "You're FUCKING UP my BUZZ" t-shirt. Nice. This is a family concert and there are little kids sitting near you, asshole. Oh, well — my son has heard those words enough now, that I don't worry about him anymore. So I'll let another Mom stress about that one.

In the I-feel-old department, I have come to the realization that my poor, sensitive ears do not like loud concerts anymore. And this one was LOUD. I think they turned their amps up to "11". But at a small, grassy-parked concert? There's no need for it to be that insanely loud, the old lady inside me complains. About halfway through the concert, my ears were so trashed that I could barely hear notes — they were starting to morph into some white-noise buzzing. But it wasn't a long concert, so the ears held up. Though after the concert, my friend commented that she could barely hear the lead singer over the guitars. It's too bad that "louder" means "better" at some of these concerts. I guess I'm going to have to join the ear-plug brigade (believe it or not, I looked around to see if anyone else was bothered by the sound, and noticed several adults and children adjusting ear-plugs! Hmm, I'll have to look into that for the next concert!)

Here is a great article about hearing loss: http://www.abelard.org/hear/hear.php. It's a bit frightening; it can't be cured. I already have tinnitus, and cell phones cause an uncomfortable click in my ear some days. Not good. Oh, well — rock on!