Pregnant Morning Gripe from 2001

I found this old note that I wrote in my 4th or 5th month of pregnancy and it gave me a chuckle, so I thought I'd pass it along. Ah, memories...
I’ve been having a hard time getting to sleep at night — merely adjusting for a comfortable position has been, literally, a pain. Then I read for a while, then I finally turn off the light and try to sleep when I realize I have to pee “like a racehorse” (never did understand that one). So I totally wake myself up to do that. Now I’m feeling dehydrated, so, against my better judgment, I have a glass of water. Then I try to go to bed which means I stare at the clock for an hour. Then I fall asleep only to have Sassy jump up into my face, purring. Well, who can resist that? So I have to pet her for a little while. Finally I fall asleep. Three hours later hubby’s alarm goes off and startles me into full-wakefulness. I don’t think that’s a word. But THEN he hits the snooze button. Not once. Not twice. But SIX FREAKING TIMES. So now I am awake-awake. That’s a word, believe me. Finally, he gets up and I try to go back to sleep, but once he leaves for work I realize that not only is the “sleep” thing not gonna happen, but now I have to pee again pretty badly and my stomach is rumbling because god forbid I don’t stuff something into my mouth every half hour to keep this baby happy. So I get up and have breakfast. But I think, “Good — I’ve gotten an early jump on my day.” So I start making all sorts of plans for things to do with my whole big day and then at around ten o’clock I hit the wall and crash-land into a full snore on the couch. But, of course, since my at-home-office hours begin at ten, that’s when the phone starts ringing. Odd, though, it’s never a customer that early — which would be worthwhile. But guilt at ignoring the ringing phone drags me up again from a fitful nap. Knowing full well that I haven’t had a full six hours of sleep, much less a needed eight or nine, I see my day dwindling into a few tired hours before another afternoon nap elbows its way into my life.

I have come to the conclusion that sleep has way too much control on our lives.

That’s today’s gripe. Tune in next time for “Sneezing While Pregnant and other fun ways to wet your pants as a grown-up.”