Rock 'n' Roll Etiquette

It has been a beautiful week in Colorado. So we were lucky to get some perfect weather for the outside concert we went to at Hudson Gardens last night. Performing for us was a U2 tribute band, and they were really good. Okay, so they aren't the real U2 (who performed in Denver a week earlier) — but we looked at the ticket prices, and it was insane! Who can afford concerts anymore? When I was younger you could go see a top artist for $20 or so, and the sooner you called the ticket sellers, the closer you got to the stage. Ah, life was simple. So I guess it's good that now that I am an old fart, my favorite artists are playing state fairs and small venues like this :)

I would like to take a moment, though, to remind people how to behave at concerts. Okay, that sounds ridiculous — and is — but I have a few pet peeves about concertgoers that I want to vent: First of all, please leave the iPods, iPhones and other gadgets at home (or in your pocket, for emergencies only). How rude is it for the poor performers to look out and see a bunch of bowed heads staring at their video screens? Ugh. Second, when a great song comes up and some people stand up to dance: get your fat-ass out of your seat and stand up with them! Dance!! Don't make people feel bad for blocking your view at a rock concert. It's not the symphony, folks! Like Roger Daltrey says: chairs are there to stand on! :) And third: if you're NOT going to dance, you don't get to sit there picking on the people who are dancing badly, but dancing nonetheless. You're the one who looks like the boring, too-cool-for-school dumbass, not them. It's true! This last one is because there was a middle-aged guy just letting lose, shaking with the music, doing punching moves, etc. Very cute and funny. We enjoyed him. But the teenage girls in front of us just rolled their eyes and laughed at him like he was nuts. So mean. Mean girls suck. Oh, and to the woman wearing the "You're FUCKING UP my BUZZ" t-shirt. Nice. This is a family concert and there are little kids sitting near you, asshole. Oh, well — my son has heard those words enough now, that I don't worry about him anymore. So I'll let another Mom stress about that one.

In the I-feel-old department, I have come to the realization that my poor, sensitive ears do not like loud concerts anymore. And this one was LOUD. I think they turned their amps up to "11". But at a small, grassy-parked concert? There's no need for it to be that insanely loud, the old lady inside me complains. About halfway through the concert, my ears were so trashed that I could barely hear notes — they were starting to morph into some white-noise buzzing. But it wasn't a long concert, so the ears held up. Though after the concert, my friend commented that she could barely hear the lead singer over the guitars. It's too bad that "louder" means "better" at some of these concerts. I guess I'm going to have to join the ear-plug brigade (believe it or not, I looked around to see if anyone else was bothered by the sound, and noticed several adults and children adjusting ear-plugs! Hmm, I'll have to look into that for the next concert!)

Here is a great article about hearing loss: http://www.abelard.org/hear/hear.php. It's a bit frightening; it can't be cured. I already have tinnitus, and cell phones cause an uncomfortable click in my ear some days. Not good. Oh, well — rock on!

I do remember her smile...

A dear friend of mine emailed me today to let me know that another friend was dead. Pam and I were "best friends" since we met in 10th grade until we were about 20 and things went sour. So strange to not speak to her for about 13 years or so and then see an obituary. Yes, I hated her for a long time for the things she did (to me, to other friends). Then appreciated it for the good story it made. But I’m not sure how I feel about this. Just a little sad for her kids and for my memory of her, really, which makes it awkward. I think I’m not that surprised at the news because a few years back I had found articles about her online that told of her trouble with the law over a drug issue (it's all public record, the only reason I mention it here). I wonder if her death was drug related? Or if she had a normal, happy life and the incident was a misunderstanding or bad mistake due to temptation or a bad influence in her life a the time (we all make those). A wife, a mother a nurse... all I knew, really, was the teenager.

The other feeling I get, to be honest, is that it makes me feel scared for me. I know it is selfish, but obituaries scare me, especially when it is someone my age. Isn't everyone a little like that?

Back to Pam, though. I’ll try to afford her a few moments of happy memories today. We did have lots of good times. But it is so hard to remember the good without getting cynical and sarcastic; wondering what was real and what was conniving and self-serving on her part. As in “Ah, remember the time that we… too bad she would later ill-use my trust to empty my bank account!” It is so hard not to go there. It was bitter. In fact, I was surprised that my friend mentioned the news with such gentleness since she had her own bad experiences with Pam. But I write that here just to get it out, and will try to be respectful if others ask about her.

I wonder what her life was like. I’m sorry that she died, and I’m sorry for her mother and for her two children. Like my friend Kim before she died, I had always wondered if we would somehow meet again and what that would be like. Death says “no” to that option, yet again. And since I don’t believe in an afterlife, I will have to accept that, yet again.